The Blogbecause 140 characters aren't enough
Don’t fight the struggle. If it feels stressful, or like you’re battling with something that doesn’t seem to want you to have what you want, stop. Wait. Accept what is and allow yourself to have patience and trust that whatever is meant for you is perfect, on it’s way, and will arrive with ease and grace.
Rest in what is. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we’ve decided we want or the way it’s supposed to be that we don’t even realise we’re stressing and pushing against ourselves. This is not how it is supposed to be! When we notice this, we can stop trying and allow instead. Just be with what is, knowing that everything is as it’s supposed to be having been fighting against myself for the last week or so on many many things
Photo taken at: Ubud, Bali, Indonesia
Where do you see beauty today? We have a choice. What do we choose to see?
I’ve worked with more than one client recently who realised that they were choosing to hold onto their own pain. They could see the light…just….but it was under a layer of pain that they were choosing on some level to hold on to.
Whenever I have more than one client experiencing the same thing, it’s normally an invitation to look within myself as well for the same thing. Where am I choosing to hold on to pain, instead of allowing it to transmute to love?
And the question then becomes….how do we ALLOW the pain to move (to transmute, shape shift, or move into the background)? For me, this work begins and ends in forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves, forgiving others, removing our judgements and opinions about victims and perpetrators, right and wrong and good and bad. Life happened. We had an experience. It felt painful. We saw it through the eyes of fear. How long do we want to continue to hold that pain? Will letting it in, accepting it and allowing it to move so we can see the light within, somehow mitigate or condone what happened?
It comes down to this: would we rather be right (I got hurt – I’m entitled to feel hurt), or happy (it happened, I don’t know why, so perhaps, I can see this situation with love instead of blame)?
Life is nothing but a series of choices. It doesn’t matter what we choose, because we will always have chosen the best path for us, to give us the experiences and opportunities we need to grow and choose love.
We cannot choose the ‘wrong’ path. Where do we think we will end up if we do? Can we be certain of what would have happened if we’d have chosen differently? Of course not. So, our choice becomes in any moment, do I choose to see this, where I am right now, with love, or with fear, and berate myself or wallow in self-pity? It’s not a case of judgement or obligation, it is merely a case of choosing the best feeling thought, to allow you to continue to move in alignment with your true self, and love
Photo taken at: Bali
Sometimes there isn’t any light. She knows it’s there. She knows that if she just choose to see it, she would, yet there’s a stronger part of her that wants to embrace the sadness, the meaningless, for a time.
Maybe in the hopelessness, there is hope, or at least faith. Maybe having a choice, knowing there is always a choice, provides more relief than she realised. Knowing that if there is one, there must be the other, knowing that letting go, can also facilitate holding on.
And so she emerged the other side of her tears. Tired, weary and feeling less than sure-footed she allowed herself to slowly see the light again. She allowed herself to be held, and loved, and reminded that there is always meaning, there is always light, and there is always love.
Feeling bad doesn’t mean any of the things we often tell ourselves it means. It just means we chose (on some level), to embrace our shadow for a while. What would it look like if we chose to see the light for a while now instead?
Photo taken at: Uluwatu Beach
Two quotes are really playing over and over in my head today. I’m not sure why, but I’ll share them with you anyway, for whoever needs them…
“I am not here for your understanding of who I am. I am here for your understanding of who you are. I am your mirror. How you feel about me, what you see in me, the thoughts that arise from your encounter of me, the judgements you hold about me, are all reflections of you. They have nothing to do with me.” ― Emily Maroutian, Thirty: A Collection of Personal Quotes, Advice, and Lessons
And, “I am here only to be truly helpful. I am here to represent Him Who sent me. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me. I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me. I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.” – A Course in Miracles, T-2.V.A.18
Last night in my coach training (which I’m currently taking between 10pm and 1am because of the time difference), we talked about being humble and curious when working with clients, and being more aware of our own judgements, bias and agenda.
Whenever I work with clients, I bring my whole self to the table. That doesn’t mean I share everything, but I am as transparent as possible, whilst recognising that the session isn’t about me – it’s about my client and what they’re experiencing. I don’t want to influence their knowing, understanding and insights in any way, just help them uncover them. I trust and know that only they know what is best for them.
And so, I am seeing so much affinity between what I’m (re)learning in my coach training, and what I understand from being a student and teacher of A Course In Miracles. When we can suspend our judgement, when we can recognise that we don’t know what anything is for, when we stop making meaning of things, or trying to make a situation fit into our version of what we want reality to be, we give ourselves the space for movement, for change, for feeling better, for feeling peaceful, for seeing through the eyes of love, instead of fear and ego.
I’m currently feeling into the best way to work with clients to get my logged coaching hours for accreditation (and whether this will be at a discounted rate). If you’re curious about working with me in a coaching capacity, where we can both learn and have profound growth, please send me a message and we can talk about how that might look.
Photo tb to Cornwall last March, cos I hear it’s pretty cold in the UK right now
I love watching the Balinese Hindus place their puja in the mornings around their statues, homes and businesses – offering their gods gifts and welcoming their presence. There is something so beautiful in the humble act of ritual offering, in acknowledging a belief system that brings you peace.
Today is Galungan in Bali – the start of a celebration honouring ancestors passed. As we drove around today, we saw everyone in their best white clothes, bringing their puja to their temples. Everyone smiling and happy. Later they will spend time with their families.
Maybe religion is not for you, but maybe there is something you do which brings you peace – making your morning coffee, yoga….whatever your ritual, I invite you to bring your whole, joyful awareness to it
Breathe. Whatever is happening, however you feel, come back to your breath.
I’m being reminded these last few days how powerful our breath is: how much it controls our nervous system and how we can release the tension held in our bodies when we remember to use it consciously. The breath is one of the few systems in our body which is both conscious and unconscious – it happens all by itself, without any intervention from us, quietly, in the background of our lives, requiring no effort and, when we choose, we can consciously direct our breath to cool us down, warm us up, calm us, enliven us and heal us.
I am so grateful to the yogic teachings of pranayama for all the wisdom that has been shared with me about how powerful the breath is, and yet, at it’s most simple, it is equally as potent a healing tool.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Allow yourself a few moments of calm to turn inward and rest