The Blogbecause 140 characters aren't enough
You’re not too much. Just be yourself.
Flowers don’t care how much they are. They bloom so hard their beauty succumbs to the weight and their stalks wilt, but they still bloom.
You are a perfect match for everyone you come into contact with. Some will stay. Some will go. Some will be triggered. Some will be enchanted.
It’s not your business to judge nor censor yourself to fit what you believe they need or can accommodate. You were brought into each others’ lives for a reason.
Photo taken at: Wales
She realised that what she desired, what she had felt was missing these last few weeks, was control. She had chosen to dis-empower herself, to choose the path of others, and wait to see what might happen. She made herself a victim of her circumstances. A stander-by in the play of her own life.
She thought she was powerless, but she was not. She thought she had to wait, to be told what to do, to take an enforced break from life, but she did not.
The only way through she realised, was to empower herself and remember that she could make a choice. She could use her agency and decide what she needed to do for her. She could decide how to adapt to changing circumstances. She could choose to live in fear, or choose to be an example of love.
If you’re feeling helpless, hopeless, or disinterested, where, or to whom, have you given your power?
Place your attention on what you CAN do, rather than what you can’t. Replace your stories of victim-hood with present moment awareness, and affirmative gratitude for what you are choosing now, instead of recreating the situations of the past by continually reaffirming your entitlement to be sad or challenged or in pain. You are entitled to feel that way, but I imagine you do not want to. That choice lies solely with you.
I would love to work with you if you are ready to make that choice, and would like support to do so. Message me
Photo taken at: Wales
When we say one thing, and do another, it leaves room for interpretation. It leaves room for confusion. It leaves room for fear, and unhappiness.
When we say one thing, and act in a way that is not representative of what we say we want, or who we say we are, we are out of alignment. A part of us is operating from a place of fear. What is stopping us owning what our heart is telling us is right for us? What is holding us back from being true to ourselves and having courage in our convictions? Are we scared of being judged? Are we scared of failing? Are we scared of hurting others with our truth?
We can only be judged when we judge ourselves.
We can only fail when we believe there is an option that isn’t meant for us.
We can only hurt others with our truth when we choose to believe we are separate and that our truth and highest good is different and separate from others’. Let me be really clear:
What is loving and good for you, is loving and good for everyone else. We are all connected. There can be no other way.
Show up. Honour yourself. Honour how you feel. Trust yourself. Trust that what is right for you, IS right. Full stop. Don’t feel the need to hide it by saying something different or acting against your truth. Get into alignment. Match your thoughts to your words to your actions. Watch everything become simpler as you become congruent with the truth of who you are
I am the centre of my storm.
Whatever I feel is on me.
I get to choose to be at the eye of the storm, or thrown around on the outside of it.
I can sit in the patterning of my victim self, and show compassion for her, or I can step into the eye of my storm and control the direction of it.
I get to choose where to place my power.
There is no right or wrong, only love and compassion for all parts of myself
The clearest explanation of the problem with forgiveness – from my ACIM teacher @jenniferhelenhadley :
Who taught you how to forgive?
What did they teach you?
How did they teach you?
Most of us were taught forgiveness from our family. And many of those who taught us taught us that forgiveness means you’re tired of being upset, and you don’t want to torture yourself anymore, but you’re never going to forget what happened. But that’s not true forgiveness. That’s fantasy forgiveness. And without true forgiveness there’s no way you’ll ever feel free and be able to stop the suffering and move on.
In order to understand what true forgiveness is, it helps to understand what forgiveness is not.
Forgiveness isn’t saying “I forgive” and still holding onto your opinions about what happened the past.
Forgiveness isn’t saying that what happened is okay and you don’t mind that it happened.
Forgiveness isn’t opening yourself to further hurt and betrayal.
Forgiveness isn’t something you can do with your intellect.
Forgiveness isn’t pretending that what happened didn’t hurt, or bother you.
Forgiveness isn’t just keeping calm and carrying on.
And most especially, forgiveness isn’t looking at something devastating and destructive that happened, labeling it bad and horrible and then saying “I forgive.” That’s insanity. It’s false just like the little child who says “I hate you” to his parent, but doesn’t mean it for one second. They’re just upset with what happened, they feel attacked, and their interpretation of what happened (that they were were attacked) justifies their retaliation. That’s the immature, ignorant and painful way of the world.
True forgiveness isn’t labeling something bad and wrong and then saying “I forgive it.”
When you say “I forgive” and it still bothers you, then you know for sure that you are clinging to your interpretation of what occurred. We cling to our opinions and judgment, our labels of things because we made them. Again, this is what children do. They hold onto something so tightly and they project their interpretation onto every subsequent similar experience.
Like a child who goes to pet a strange dog and the dog snears, barks and frightens them. The child then makes the meaning that dogs are scary, they’re not safe, they can’t be trusted, and they can hurt you.
Here’s what true forgiveness is:
It’s letting go of the meaning you made of what happened.
It’s releasing your attachment to your interpretation of what occurred.
It’s saying that your opinions about the people, events, occurrences and everything related to this experience are not valuable to you anymore.
True Forgiveness Means I’m Willing To Say That Your Opinions And Judgments About The Past Aren’t Worth Having.
That’s how I get free – by releasing your attachment to the past.
The only way to stop repeating the same thoughts, upsets and experiences is to let go of my mental and emotional attachment to the underlying beliefs that sustain those thoughts, upsets and experiences.
True Forgiveness Is My Decision To Make Love A Greater Priority Than My Judgments About The Past.
It’s letting go of the past. I can’t let go of the meaning I made of the past until I realize that it’s not actually valuable to me.
Let me value what is TRULY valuable and let the past go!
Photo taken at: Uluwatu, Bali, Indonesia
Your heart does not care what recognition you get for your helping. It doesn’t care what you look like when you do it, how much credibility you have or get, how much you get paid for it, or who will notice you do it. It knows that we can only truly give without attachment when we love ourselves, because we are one, and so to give IS to receive.
Your opportunity might not show up in the way your ego wanted or expected. It might not come in the form of a dream job or a volunteer opportunity at an elephant sanctuary.
But it will come, and your heart will know that this will help you, as well as others. Don’t dismiss the seemingly small opportunities to be helpful, they are what change the world
I’m feeling incredibly grateful today, not just because I’m being given more and more evidence that if I just surrender, get out of my own way and stop trying to control the ‘how’, everything I need will be provided for me, but also because SO many of my clients have, completely unprompted, started asking me about metaphysics, the law of attraction, A Course In Miracles, spirituality, psychedelics for mental health and all the other things I am super passionate about practising and learning about.
I work with people from all backgrounds and beliefs, and love supporting people where they are, without any need to try to influence them. Many of my clients who don’t follow me on social media have no idea of my interests and beliefs. So I absolutely love it when I get a sign from the Universe that more people are tuning into how much better it feels to lead with love, rather than fear, and are being guided to their own tools and resources to help them with that path, outside of our work together
I will know the truth when my only motivation is to be truly helpful.
I will know that I am fully supported when I turn my focus from my outside perception of the world to my inner world.
When I recognise that I have everything I need in this moment, and trust that everything is exactly as it is supposed to be, will I know peace.
When I know peace, I can share peace.
Peace is available to me in every moment.
This is the only moment
As she turned her attention away from what she needed to do to get what she thought she wanted, and instead directed her focus on to the individual small steps that she was guided to take in order to be truly helpful, something miraculous happened.
She was reminded, once again, as she was every time she detoured from the path and found her way back, that she had always been, was and would always be, provided for. There was no need to worry, no need to try to figure things out, and the more she struggled, the more she would experience struggle.
When she allowed herself to surrender, to rest in love for herself and the world, when she forgave herself for trying to do everything herself and ignoring her small, kind voice of inner guidance, she was granted the feeling of peace she hadn’t realised she was missing, and followed her nudges to places where things fell into perfect place without any effort on her part. These places allowed her to feel truly valued, truly valuable, truly loved, and truly peaceful.
It doesn’t matter how many times you mis-step, you can always give up struggling and allow yourself to float and be held by the Universe. You are always supported. There is nothing you cannot come back from. We all have a choice – we can run the uphill race to the top of an imaginary ‘success’ mountain, or we can tune in, let go of thinking we know the best way, and allow the still small voice of our heart to lead us to somewhere far better than we could have ever imagined
Photo taken at: Wales