The Blogbecause 140 characters aren't enough
Life is not all or nothing. It is not black and white. It is not either or. Neither are people. Neither am I. Neither are you.
Life is a consequence of all the tiny moments we stay present to: the moments we choose by tuning into what feels good and following our hearts, or shutting off our intuition and doing what we think we should, holding onto to what we think something should or needs to look like. These are our choices. They can never be taken away from us.
Life is not good or bad. It can be both, or neither. It can shift from one to the other or sit somewhere on the continuum, moving up and down depending on our perspective.
We are not the heroes or the heroine, not the devil or the sinner. We are just us. Moving through life, choosing experiences, moments, behaviours, reactions and thoughts based on how we perceive our reality. We are not fixed. We get to be fluid. We get to change. We get to change back. We get to move up and down on the continuum, and we will always, still, be good enough.
Your experience of now does not define who you are, it defines how you choose to be in this moment.
Just wanted to acknowledge all the people who are ‘getting through’ life right now. The people who’s plans have disappeared, who are grieving, who are just about hanging in there, hoping for something to hold on to soon, to those who have seen the worst of humanity, and are still willing to look for hope, for those who are holding others, even when no-one is holding them.
You are my heroes. You are showing up, and today, I hope you will see a sign that tells you it will be OK, and life will get better, because life is a series of tiny moments, and in any moment, your life can change. I know, I know, that’s such a cliche, and cliches are cliches because there’s often some truth in there.
In any case, I will always speak to love instead of fear. In my humble opinion, if I can choose to live with hope (even if that comes with disappointments), I would rather that and have a chance to feel love, than close my heart and live my life in fear.
Are you seeing the soul, or the ego?
Whenever we feel judged by someone, it’s either a mirror for us, or fear coming up for them. I realised today that sometimes I’m interacting with a person’s ego, rather than their soul.
Whenever an interaction doesn’t feel good for you, train yourself to check in – is your ego talking, or your soul? Are you responding to the needs of their ego, or to their soul’s?
Souls want love and peace and happiness for everyone. Egos are selfish and scared and defensive.
Souls see that we are all connected and can unite in love. Egos see themselves as separate and alone.
Souls want to bring us together. Egos want to keep us apart.
Souls are compassionate. Egos only see what they think will serve them.
Shift your focus. Look for the soul. When you interact from a soul level, that connection will give you the moments of happiness, love and completeness your ego craves but doesn’t know how to get
Photo taken at: Pulukan, Bali, Indonesia
Are you OK? How are you really?
I’ve had more conversations and ‘I’m concerned about [insert person’s name here]’ with people I care about this week than I have in a long time. I’m seeing people admitting they’re not OK, confide in me about wanting to or actually hurting themselves, heavy drinkers drinking even more than normal and recreational drug takers recognising their desire to use as a way to get away from what they’re feeling. I’ve been reaching out in my support network for even more support than usual because, well, these are unprecedented times and my mental wellness is essential for my….mental wellness?? (and obviously my work). And yet, I had an interview with week with @Coacharya (my coaching school), where we talked about how mental health is still so stigmatised that people still find it hard say when they’re not OK.
Sometimes they have a handy friend (ahem) who they know is totally OK with confessions of uncontrollable crying, numbing out, self-destructive substance / alcohol abuse, and sometimes when they finally say I’m not OK, they realise they’ve been holding it in for weeks, but didn’t know how to name it or what to do with it, and it feels like such a relief to admit it.
So this is my little PSA to myself and you, that your mental health is important, and just because everyone is going through difficult times right now, you are also entitled to your feelings, they are also valid, and it’s definitely OK to ask for support and to say you’re not OK if you’re not
Photo taken at: Portugal
Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha – Mantra for Ganesh, the Remover of Obstacles.
Usage: when you’re ready to let go of anything that might be holding you back and want a fresh start / new beginning.
Every time your mind goes wandering, tells stories of the past that aren’t teaching you anything new, or stories of the future that are made up and may or may not ever happen, interrupt yourself with this mantra. Repeat it often, ideally 108 times as a form of meditation
What’s your why?
Why do you get up in the morning?
Why do you do your work / art?
Why are you kind to one person, one day, and unkind another?
Why are you compassionate with yourself, or not?
Why do you eat what you eat, or not eat what you don’t eat?
Why do you choose this path?
Are these choices supporting and loving the person you are now, and helping you become the person you want to be?
Learn to love who you are, so you can be who you want to be.
There are still some low cost coaching opportunities up for grabs – if you’re interested in a one off or course of sessions to remember how amazing you are and what you’re capable of, send me a message.
She listened to the wind outside her window, but no longer felt scared.
The wind could no more hurt her than the rest of her dream.
It could bang at the windows of her soul, but could not come in. It was no more real than the other dreams she dreamt, trying to keep herself safe from all the perceived dangers of the world.
Despite knowing for some years that all her thoughts produced form at some level, she only recently realised the power this gave her.
She could choose how she learned. She could choose how to grow.
She could choose what to heal, and how to truly see others.
She could choose to forgive, to not judge, to be humble, and above all, kind.
Every time she fell down on those things, she had the opportunity to learn them again, and try to do better.
The quicker she learned, the easier life became.
It all comes down to this – who did she choose to be?
Words to meditate on.