The Blog

because 140 characters aren't enough

My happy place

Maybe my happy place is here, and maybe it’s a world within me, where I realise and truly believe that I am loved, and loveable, and loving: where I can believe once again in integrity and kindness and where I can choose every day to live and breathe these qualities and have them reflected back to me in the community I find myself in. Kindness breeds kindness. Choose to behave accordingly

Photo taken at: Cornwall

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On being…

Sometimes (always), it wasn’t about wrong or right, and it wasn’t about making something be true when maybe it wasn’t, it was just about being: recognising that without the judgement – the constant need to make sense of things, make meaning of things….there was nothing left to fight, and there she found her peace.

And that peace pervaded everything if she let it. If she finally surrendered her desire to control, her fear that giving up what she thought she wanted would lead her to miss out on something meant for her, instead of gaining what she didn’t know she really wanted all along.

There is method in the madness. There is serenity in the surrender. There is peace in the perfectness. Could she cultivate a little more faith in this?

Photo taken at: Cornwall

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I may not be who you want me to be

I may not be who you want me to be, and I’ve definitely done the wrong things at the wrong time for the wrong reasons. Some may think it’s arrogant to forgive myself for things I’ve done which have hurt others, but if we cannot move past the pain and resentment of the past, we have no chance at finding peace in the present, and I choose peace. It doesn’t help you to have me relive my past and my guilt. We don’t need more hate in the world, we need more love.

A funny thing happens when you let the past go: you fall into a deeper integrity with yourself. You are able to make better choices because your ego isn’t keeping you focusing on who you were and what sort of person you ‘should’ be. Instead, you can just focus on what feels peaceful, and what feels kind. There’s no conflict between what I want and what you want: I’m pretty certain we both want a kinder and more loving space to exist

Photo taken at: New Polzeath

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Forgiveness and healing

And so she wandered, though the space in her own mind, and realised, perhaps for the first time, that all the pain she’d suffered, seemingly at the hands of others, she inflicted upon herself: to remember, to hold sacred, and to continue to use to torture herself, long after the dream ended. And so she resisted the change: the healing, because it had been so easy. After years of trying, and fighting with herself, she realised that the truth was there right in front of her the whole time, and all she had to do was look behind the wall she’d built through her own fear, and accept it. Somehow, it seemed it had been better to continue to fight, to reaffirm her rightness and justify her judgements, than to admit that she had been wrong all along, and it really didn’t matter what had happened in the past. To find true peace, it only required one thing: forgiveness. And the moment she relinquished the need to be right, to keep score and store the points she’d supposedly won for being the ‘bigger person’, healing flooded through her, and she recognised that the peace she had so longed for, had been with her all along

Photo taken at: New Polzeath

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What is meant for you

Photo Caption: “Nothing meant to be in your life will ever require you to abandon yourself to keep it.”

I slightly misquoted this (sorry!), but you get the point. Never abandon yourself under some illusion that you need something in your life that requires you to be different to who you are. If it requires you to be something you’re not, or deny how you feel, it’s not for you. Walk away. Make space for what is meant for you

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I don’t care what you’ve done

Please go read this in it’s entirety – it’s not my work, but I love it, and perhaps, you may find comfort in the humanness of it ↪ https://thoughtcatalog.com/janne-robinson/2018/12/i-dont-care-what-youve-done/

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Who sees you?

Who are the people who really SEE you? .
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Who are the ones who refuse to believe the stories you tell yourself and consistently challenge you to step into your true power? Keep these people close, and be grateful for how uncomfortable they sometimes make your ego feel

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Trust

If I can trust myself,
I can trust you,
And know that it’ll be ok,
Even if it’s not.

Before you get vulnerable, ask yourself, can I share this with you, and be ok, regardless of your response? Do I trust myself enough to hold myself, no matter what you say or don’t say?
Can I take responsibility for my feelings, regardless of yours? Do I need you to validate or hear me, in order for me to feel ok about what I’m sharing?

Learn to trust yourself, before you trust anyone else

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