Life Coaching & Counselling
Be who you were meant to be
From fear to love…
Presence is what brings me into every moment, and it’s my intention to continue to be a container for love, and a reflection of my own Truth, as well as yours. This is my work. This is your work. With every person who chooses to show up and connect, deeply, into who they are (who we all are), the more ripples of love we spread out into the world. More love is always good.
Most of the time recently, I’ve felt deeply vulnerable. I’ve shared more than I’ve ever shared before and, in doing so, created some of the strongest, most intimate connections I’ve ever had. There is a beautiful quote from Jeff Foster about Truth and love, and I wanted to share it with you, to encapsulate the sort of connection which I’ve found facilitates the deepest and most profound changes for my clients, and defines the way I like to work perfectly:
LOVE’S DEEPER COMMITMENT
Let’s not commit to a future together. The future is so unknown, and we are so fluid, and tired of pretending that we know.
Our thoughts and feelings are ever-changing, uncontrollable, like a wild ocean of love.
Our desires wax and wane; our dreams are born and die in every moment.
Let’s not commit to a form of love. The forms are always shifting, like the tides.
We do not need security here. We are not seeking comfort, but Truth.
Let’s make a deeper commitment; one that cannot be broken or lost.
To presence. To meeting in the here-and-now.
To bringing all of ourselves. To knowing, and letting ourselves be known.
To telling the truth, today; knowing that our truth may change tomorrow.
To bowing before each other, even if our hearts are broken and tender.
No promises, no guarantees.
I invite you to explore the rest of this space using the links at the top of the page or below to find out more about me and how I can support you.
You are more than enough. You are perfect.
From my heart to yours, I honour you – Namaste,
ways to work with me
So just wanted to say a massive THANK YOU for what you do, for your work and for being so AWESOME!
You are a remarkable lady with a big warm heart and I am forever grateful for all your help.
On the Blog
Positivity is not an inherently good or bad thing. Please stop thinking that you can’t acknowledge when you feel sad, or angry, or betrayed, or any other so called ‘negative’ emotion. It is impossible to negate anything. Denying something’s existence doesn’t make it disappear, it proves it’s there because otherwise there would be nothing to deny.
I’d much rather have a conversation with someone and feel the true depths of their emotion and realness, have them cry and shout and own their rage….than have some fake-ass conversation about how great their life is and how there’s always a silver lining. Yes, we can learn from our experiences and find joy in life, but only after we accept what our current experience is and honour it as part of the journey
Following on from my last post, I got told today that I was too much, too intense and required too much effort to be friends with. I nearly gave the guy a big F you but what I actually did was thank him for his honesty, leave, and cry on my friend’s shoulder.
I cried because sometimes, when someone inadvertently stabs at a wound, we question whether we should hold our head up high and be exactly who we are, no apologies….or look deep within ourselves to see if we’re triggered because they’re right, and we really are what they say.
I cried because I have been told many times, in many ways, that I am too much.
And then I cried because I realised that I had handled the situation less than gracefully, and less than I might have wanted.
Instead of being true to myself and speaking out about how I was feeling, I shrunk away and became uncomfortable in my own skin. I made myself small to make someone else feel more comfortable, and in the process, they felt my energy and determined I was too much effort to be friends with.
Being anything less than 100% yourself is a lose lose situation. It makes others just as uncomfortable as you are.
I learned such a valuable lesson today. I learned that, even though I knew it already, I could no longer suffocate myself for the sake of someone else. It just suffocates all of us.
I am a lot. I am intense with a big presence and I talk a lot about feelings and sometimes I get triggered and uncomfortable and it’s ok if that’s too much for some, but from now on, I will respect the other as well as myself by honouring myself, and letting them go the moment we feel it
Some words of wisdom I know are right, but am still learning to put into practice consistently:
Don’t stay stuck in your victimhood just because giving up the justifications for being hurt or angry seems too great a sacrifice. When the sacrifice you feel by holding your pain becomes greater than the ego’s desire to remain right in it’s opinion of whatever happened, you will naturally let the past go, and find peace. It doesn’t make sense to me that for so long, we have tried to ‘forgive’ and ‘move on’ from trauma, whilst still desperately clinging to the fact that we had wrong done to us, and therefore we are a ‘victim’ or a ‘survivor’. How can we imagine we can let go of trauma and find peace if we continue to carry around the badge of honour we supposedly earned through living through it? We don’t have to deny it happened, but perhaps, one day, we can find a way to see it differently, and realise it is our judgements which cause us pain, and if we stop making things, people and events right or wrong or good or bad, then we can allow ourselves to experience life as it is, instead of making it into something else